This is a short story about a saver, an index investor, a stock picker, a crypto holder and their resentments.
A saver walks into a bar.
The Saver
It’s empty and he thinks he’s the king of the world.
His $10,000 one year fixed deposit has just matured and at 2% p.a. return, he has $200 of interest in his pocket.
Enough for him to buy his family a really good meal, and of course a few drinks at the bar.
He appreciates the system and the banks.
“A 2% risk-free return is the closest thing to a free lunch!” – The Saver
The Saver was enjoying his drinks and his life until an index investor walked in.
The Index Investor
He sees The Saver and he thinks he’s the king of the world.
Squirrelling away half of his income, The Index Investor had amassed $100,000 before he turned 30. Investing all of his savings into index funds, he expects 7% p.a. returns in the long run.
In 25 years’ time, he would have accumulated half a million dollars, supporting a comfortable retirement for him.
“A 7% total market return is the closest thing to a free lunch!” – The Index Investor espoused to everyone in the bar.
This invited cacophony from the audience.
“The stock market is a scam! Half of all investors lose money in the stock markets! 7% p.a. returns are a heresy and an economic leech!” – The Saver
The Index Investor brushed away The Saver’s concerns or shall we say, resentment.
“We do pay a price for the returns. It takes patience and we sit through volatility. Not everyone can do it. That’s the entry ticket to these wonderful returns.” – The Index Investor
After putting The Saver down, The Index Investor was enjoying his drinks and his life until a stock picker walked in.
The Stock Picker
He sees The Saver and The Index Investor and he thinks he’s the king of the world.
Enjoying a >20% p.a. return for the past few years, The Stock Picker is on track to become a young millionaire, if not one already.
Whether it’s tech, EV, meme stocks or even SPACs or ARK etfs, he is heavily vested in them. The midas touch is real.
“A 20% stock market return is the minimum you need to aim for!” – The Stock Picker espoused to everyone in the bar.
This invited cacophony from the audience.
“Stock picking is a scam! 95% of all fund managers underperform an index investor! 20% p.a. returns are a heresy and an economic leech!” – The Index Investor
The Stock Picker brushed away The Index Investor’s concerns or shall we say, resentment.
“We do pay a price for the returns. Besides patience and sitting through volatility, it also takes painstaking research, acumen and foresight. Not everyone can do it. That’s the entry ticket to these wonderful returns.” – The Stock Picker
After putting The Index Investor down, The Stock Picker was enjoying his drinks and his life until a crypto holder walked in.
The Crypto Holder
He sees The Saver, The Index Investor and The Stock Picker and he thinks he’s the king of the world.
Enjoying a >20% per quarter return for the past few years, The Crypto Holder easily made multiples of his initial investments in crypto. He is a young millionaire and on track for 8 figures networth.
He hates the system and the banks.
“Fiat currency is the scam! Get out before it’s too late” – The Crypto Holder espoused to everyone in the bar.
This invited cacophony from the audience.
“Cryptocurrency is a scam! There will always be new Cryptocurrencies being invented. Remember the Tulip Bubble?! 20% per quarter returns are a heresy and an economic leech!” – The Stock Picker
The Crypto Holder brushed away The Stock Picker’s concerns or shall we say, resentment.
“We do pay a price for the returns. Besides patience and sitting through volatility, there’s shitcoins that will go to zero. It also takes stronk hands. Not everyone can do it. That’s the entry ticket to these wonderful returns.” – The Crypto Holder
After putting The Stock Picker down, The Crypto Holder was enjoying his drinks and his life until……
I am not sure how this story will end. It’s Feb 2021 and let’s see how well this post ages.
Thanks for reading and here’s wishing you and your family a Happy Lunar New Year!
Wahahahaha… Thanks I needed a laugh.
Legend has it that both Buffett and Bogle both knew each other was right about investing.
Hi ERSG,
Glad you had your laugh. I think all four in my story are also right to a certain extent. But the resentment is even more real.
next up into the bar, will be GME punter ..
enjoying >20% per day!
Hi FC,
Getting out of GME with 20% annual returns is likely an above average outcome.
And then the gambler strolls in after winning $10m Hong Bao Toto with a $1 quickpick ordinary….
Hi Sinkie,
$10m ang bao draw but after that, choose to be? Lol
20% quarterly returns in crypto? The crypto person shouldn’t be boasting if he’s not making more than 20% returns per day
Hi HFSP,
20% returns per day means after 1 month, can turn $10k into $2m. That’s alchemy.
It’s not resentment, it’s envy! Muahaha!
I suppose if that’s a mahjong table, there’ll be 4 copies of myself at the table playing all 4 different roles – because the aggregated effect of the 4 would be a truly formidable opponent haha.
Hi Kevin,
Sounds like some Chinese martial arts exponent who managed to synthesise all the different skills of the different sects.
That said, diversification is key and glad you are doing well with your crypto sub portfolio.
Hi Lizardo,
There’s just a thin line between envy and resentment and I feel with regards to $$$, it tends to be the latter.
Maybe a 5th would be a SPAC promoter
Hmm,
Is SPAC doing even better than crypto?
Hi,
Chill. Comparison is the thief of joy. It makes sense for one to focus on own situation and make the best of it and improve it at the same time.
WTK
Hi WTK,
You are right! But what you have mentioned is really hard to practise in real life.
A 5th guy comes in who earns the same but lives paycheck to paycheck. Buys everyone a drink and group happiness is restored.
This is an excellent piece of writing! Nevermind that the story has been left unfinished. It gives us all something that I find lacking in most personal finance writing that I’ve gone through – perspective.
Hi Zac,
Glad you enjoyed the story and thanks for your kind comments!
Interesting. I have seen people invest has indexers, stock pickers, and cryptocurrency with single mindedness and religious fervor. Your article is an interesting way of pointing that out.